Wednesday 29 November 2017

Hereford1938 AVBCW Autumn Big Game 2017 (PART THREE)

Lunchtime.

As the Bishop contentedly tucked into his beef and horseradish sandwiches, followed by a substantial slice of fruitcake [1] and cup of honest English tea, even as Storm Commander Giles tried out his karaoke "Robin Hood" impression deep within his dark and bosky den [2], the umpires met.

["We've got to do something", said Umpire Clive, puffing anxiously on an umpteeth cigarette. "The whole thing's just too unbalanced now, and we've all afternoon to go." Umpire Roo agreed, but in a strangely hesitant and non-committal fashion. A variety of options were considered, none of which found ready agreement. "Well" ventured Umpire Clive reluctantly, "I suppose we could ask Rob (Comrade-Commissar Winters) if he wouldn't mind, just to help us out, you know, kind of becoming completely over-confident after his early victory at Kington, putting aside the long standing Anglican/Socialist anti Fascist alliance for a while, and having a go at everyone from the flank?" At this suggestion, a very strange thing happened. Umpire Roo's body suddenly shortened and spasmed, his skin greyed, eyes growing to blood shot and jaundiced saucers, his hair fell out to a mere wisp, and suddenly the mishapen result was chittering: "Oh yeth, yeth, oh yeth..." It was Comrade Gollumroo in the flesh. "Oh yeth, my precious...we'd decided thath, we were going to do thath anywayth...." The appalling vision slimed and skittered back into the Hall, leaving an astonished Umpire Clive to contemplate the likely afternoon's play...]

The headlines of Ludlow's various afternoon newspapers now screamed their own story:

COWARDLY BETRAYAL BY OGRE WINTERS!


RED MENACE TO OUR BRAVE BISHOP !


HARD FIGHTING "TRUE TRAITOR" MORGAN !

GALLANT STAND OF BRICHESTER LDV !

DUFF-POSTIN DETENTE POLICY SHATTERED! [3]

"MASSIVE DESTRUCTION" TO COMMIE CADRES - ORDERLY 
RETIREMENT OF "GREATLY DIMINISHED"
"GOVERNMENT" FORCES

WINTERS - "NOT INCONSIDERABLY WORSE 
THAN BEELZEBUB" - BISHOP'S STATEMENT!

"It seems to me" said the Bishop, carefully wiping the very last crumb of delicious fruitcake from his lips, "that we can still achieve the victory...."

Rumour and counter-rumour had flooded into Anglican Headquarters over lunch. "The Reds", heedless of strategy and faithless to previous treaty understandings, were evidently "on the march", for their cavalry were already skirmishing forward under the outward pretence of "bringing a message for the Bishop".[4] Commandant Lasalle excitedly leaned forward over his stack of battle-maps. "Mai oui, M'sieu L'Eveque! C'est certainement! Voyez ici...."

His stubby finger traced out the Anglican options. On the right, having spent the whole morning marching, the Verity LDV were at last coming into a position to assault Councillor Cracknutt's forces. The LEAF Behemoth Destroyers, despatched at the request of Cousin Verity, were poised to destroy such armour as the Councillor had in support - the "Little Italian Tank" and a consistently "wheelspinning" (Not Very) Armoured Car - and then wheel round behind the LDV's sole (armoured) artillery piece, squeezing Councillor Cracknutt's forces into "a pocket of destruction" hard up against Storm Commander Giles' Rural Redoubt.

Or not, as the case may be. On the A49 itself, the hitherto unused infantry sections of the LEAF and a plethora of armour and armoured cars provided a ready alternative strategy. The heavily armoured Somua behemoth idled at the cross-roads, waiting for orders. An armoured car of the Verity LDV, and two armoured cars of the Brichester LDV were on hand to "lead a charge" down the road against the solitary "Wyrd Force" armoured car. Another round or two from the LEAF mortar would put paid to the AT gun and MMG (whose crews had already suffered losses), and the remaining infantry forces of Councillor Cracknutt and Storm Commander Giles (heavily engaged  in the Rural Redoubt, suffering enormous losses, against the forces of Councillor Morgan) would be fatally split asunder.....

"Mais les Rouges, M'sieu L'Eveque...." Commandant Lasalle chewed frantically on his cheroot, calculating time and distance. The two Platoons of Commissar Winters had a very long way to go before reaching the flank defences of the Ludlow forces; in any event, the defending Brichester LDV Platoon, already known to be stout hearted, were well dug in : a direct charge would cause appalling Socialist casualties."Non, c'est parfait." considered the Commandant finally. "Nous finissons contre les Noirs, et apres, les sales Rouges!"

Command Decision - the Bishop takes a moment to contemplate his options.
A flank attack by the Verity LDV, squeezing the "Government" forces into
a deathtrap, or an A49 charge, splitting them asunder ? Truly a moment of destiny.
Lunchtime was over....[and the post lunchtime auction of additional forces took place, using the new campaign cash rules. Cousin Verity invested in "The News of the World 1938 Competition Winners", a bowler hatted and umbrella waving infantry section; Commissar Winters supplemented his infantry forces with the BBC Light Entertainment Concert Party, and Captain Morgan, to demonstrate his absolute fidelity to his new masters went all in and spent the very last of his cash reserves on the well-trained Herefordshire Watch Committee]....and the Bishop had made his final decision.

[1] as prepared by Mrs Miggins. Regular listeners to the Bishop's Broadcasting Service will already be familiar with the daring escape from Hereford of this well known society confectioner, but newcomers can read the full tale HERE
[2] reportedly "in full costume", including a tiny tricorne and green tights. The Amalgamated Society of Music Hall Comedians would like to thank Storm Commander Giles for keeping them in business, and the whole of Ludlow in gales of laughter at the tale....
[3]. the Chancellor of All Ludlow, the Rev. Duff-Postin, had been conducting lengthy negotiations with the Socialist (Very Broad) Front, as recorded in detail HERE. It has since turned out that Eustace Spode safely evacuated the supposed "Little Hereford Pocket" (in order to attend the County Golf Challenge), while evidently the Rev Duff-Postin, when singing "The Internationale" with Comrade Red Robbo, was simply negotiating with the wrong type of socialist. In any event, the worthy Reverend's "detente" policy has undoubtedly collapsed by reason of Comrade-Commissar Winter's battlefield betrayal of the Bishop.
[4]. a flimsy excuse that stood no hope of being believed. The Red cavalry were nearly all mown down by Storm Commander Giles' MMG in any event, the few remaining, being unable to produce "The PASSWORD" were given a metal jacketed .303 Brichester LDV message from the Bishop to "Ogre" Winters. Thus perished the first of the Red attacks upon the Bishop's lines....

Tuesday 28 November 2017

Hereford1938 AVBCW Autumn Big Game 2017 (PART TWO)

The early part of "The Battle of Berrington Approaches" (as it has subsequently become known) was one of quiet maneouvre. The Ludlow forces captured the strategically important "A49 intersection" without incident, and the Bishop, as ever leading from the front, established his "Forward Command Post" in the grounds of the "Gardener's Cottage". While the Behemoth Destroyers, in support of Cousin Verity's LDV, stalked Councillor Cracknutt's "Little Italian Tank" and "(Not Very) Armoured Car" on the right flank, the Anglican mortar's firebase was established in the walled grounds of the Gardener's Cottage, and the weapon made ready to fire...
The Bishop's Forward Battle HQ at the Gardener's Cottage. To the left, the A49 intersection and the first
appearance of the Brichester LDV's secret weapon - Doctor Campbell's "Marvellous Mechanical Man".
In the distance, the forces of Councillor Cracknutt and an advance by the "Gnat" AT Rifle.
It was on the fields of Kington, however, that the true action of the morning took place. Whether suffering from a rush of blood to his (very bald) head, or whether McCavity, his chauffeur, had difficulty in selecting the correct gear, Sir Alan McGuffin's behemoth suddenly jolted into a very enthusiastic, but very solitary, charge towards the oncoming forces of Comrade Commissar Winters....

Fore! Sir Alan's armoured charge begins...but what are those chaps nearly under his tracks up to?
(Photographs Courtesy of "Red Star" Picture Agency)
a charge that lead to an unexpectedly swift disaster.....

Socialist (Broad Front) Terror Bombers in action!

Boom! The open topped Behemoth is grenaded into a smoking mess!
....the swift and explosive death of McCavity the chauffeur and the entire Club Committee (still trying to follow the instruction manuals, they had clearly not kept a watch out for insurgents) and the shameful capture of Sir Alan and a badly wounded MacCaddie. [1]

Nothing daunted by such an early reverse (indeed perhaps prompted by it), Captain Morgan immediately announced that he was in fact, beyond peradventure and without a shadow of a doubt, "An Outright Traitor" to the Royalist cause and promptly joined forces with the Socialist (Very Broad) Front!

[Craig read out the following "Umpire's Luxurious Sealed Envelope Character Instruction" :

LDV COMMANDER

JACKPOT!

YOU ARE:

DOGGEDLY LOYAL. “You have reached a deal with your Faction Commander and will absolutely honour it - without question, come what may - to the end of the day. I say, what a chap! We’re afraid you don’t get any bonuses, but then you don’t get any penalties, either. Well done!”

HOWEVER:

This is what you tell your Faction Commander and fellow players, but it is completely UNTRUE. You are in fact an OUTRIGHT TRAITOR. No-one knows this but you - not the present “Opposition” nor even the “Umpires”. Reveal yourself and join “the other side” when you wish at any stage during the course of the game after the first two moves by stating “My Luxurious Envelope has given me new instructions, and I am in fact a black hearted traitor who will now make common cause with the other side - bye, bye, suckers!”  If you shoot your former friends in the back at the same time, or otherwise act with ingenious evility, you will get extra Umpire acclaim.

YOU MAY COMMUNICATE THIS (FALSE) INFORMATION TO YOUR FACTION COMMANDER AND FELLOW PLAYERS AFTER THE COMMENCEMENT OF PLAY ON YOUR TABLE.

DO NOT SHOW THEM THIS BIT OF PAPER."][2]

Such a dramatic turn of events completely over-shadowed the methodical preparations of the Anglican forces for their own afternoon assault. The Bishop's mortar had begun popping away, despatching crew members of Storm Leader Giles' MMG and AT Gun at frequent intervals. It would only be a matter of time before both were destroyed, or pulled back out of action. On the right, Cousin Verity's LDV plodded on, getting ready to flank the forces of Councillor Cracknutt. On the left, the Brichester LDV happily ensconced themselves in a walled field redoubt, ready for anything...

And "ready for anything" was the watchword for lunchtime. Storm Leader Giles had blanched visibly as Captain Morgan had declared his traitorous intent, reducing the "Government" forces, already in a minority, to a mere six Platoons against (now) eighteen of the combined Opposition. Air Reconnaissance reported that the Socialists were "well beyond their seige lines, spilling over the Kington plains without the slightest opposition"[3]. Quite what Lord de Braose, Governor of the Marches, would make of such news in due course....Storm Leader Giles could feel the blindfold being placed over his eyes, the sharp words of command to the black-clad firing squad....and to make matter worse, Councillor Cracknutt was now to be heard muttering about "the necessity of an orderly retirement" and delivering himself of the opinion that "Bugger Christmas! This is all going to be over by lunchtime!"

Clearly, Lord de Braose was (as ever) completely out of touch, for Anglican radio intercepts promptly delivered to the Bishop his "Order of the Day", promoting the embattled Storm Leader to Storm Commander.[4] The newly promoted Fascist Leader, now under sharp attack on the right from Captain Morgan at the head of his enthusiastically traitorous LDV - and about to suffer a death-knell advance by the now overwhelmingly superior Anglican forces - did the only thing that he could, and promptly dived into the available tree cover.

A pre-game view of the A49 Battlefield - before the mountain to the right, by God's mercy, was excavated
from the table to leave a plain. Lacking the Alps, Storm Commander Giles intended to use the foreground woods
 as a "Rural Redoubt". This panorama also provides a fine view of the A49 itself, the Gardeners Cottage
(as quickly occupied by the Bishop), and the walled enclosure, as occupied by the Brichester LDV.
With the ashen faced Storm Commander reduced to playing "hide and seek", and Councillor Cracknutt's LDV about to perform their "orderly retirement" before the oncoming forces of the Verity LDV, what now for the future of the Herefordshire VBCW ?

[1]. Radio Moscow has broadcast that MacCaddie was killed along with the rest of the Behemoth crew. This announcement was clearly subject to be battlefield confusion, and premature. MacCaddie lives!
[2]. This was all supremely bad luck for Storm Commander Giles. The odds of a traitor appearing on the battlefield at all were 5%, and consequently, the odds of a traitor to the Fascist cause were somewhere around 1.25% - 2.5%.
[3]. As indeed they were. With the defection of Captain Morgan and the Herefordshire LDV, the Government now had no defending forces at all on the fields of Kington.
[4]. highly reminiscent, as it turned out (and using an example from the alternate timeline) of Hitler's promotion of von Paulus to Field Marshall at Stalingrad. No Storm Commander had yet surrendered to the enemy in Herefordshire's VBCW....could Storm Commander Giles now "hold out"?

Thursday 23 November 2017

Hereford1938 AVBCW Autumn Big Game 2017 (PART ONE)

The day of the battle dawned bright and clear, as days of battle tend to do. After a short interregnum to campaigning [1] as the contending parties gathered their respective strengths, the gallant Bishop of Ludlow now renewed his "A49 Thrust" southward towards Herefordshire's "second city" - LEOMINSTER - in careful co-ordination with the "Socialist (Very Broad) Front" forces of Captain-Commissar Winter, survivor of the Second Battle of Ledbury, which forces were intent on breaking the long-standing "Government" siege lines around the Socialist/Welsh Nationalist stronghold of KINGTON.

The headlines of Ludlow's various morning newspapers told their own story:

DEBUT OF LUDLOW'S EXPERIMENTAL ARMOURED FORCE -
ARROWSMITH "ABSENT WITHOUT LEAVE" !

OUR NEW OFFENSIVE "PROGRESSING SATISFACTORILY" !

DISASTER FOR EDWARD OATHBREAKER'S FORCES AT KINGTON !

BRAVE CAPTAIN MORGAN "SEES THE LIGHT" -
 HEREFORD LDV REPUDIATE FASCISM!

KINGTON SIEGE LINES "COMPREHENSIVELY BROKEN"
BY OUR GALLANT SOCIALIST ALLIES!

CAPTURE OF WELL KNOWN LOCAL GOLF CHAIRMAN
BY OUR BRAVE SOCIALIST FRIENDS!

"AN EMPTY GESTURE" - BATTLEFIELD PROMOTION
FOR BUF STORM LEADER GILES !

Anticipating the ever-present BUF Behemoth of Captain Arrowsmith [1] in the path of his "A49 Thrust", the Bishop of Ludlow had, since the Battle of Brimfield, taken much good advice from a number of the more forward thinking senior officers of the British Army (inevitably discharged by Edward on his accession) who had been previously responsible for the Army Experimental Mechanized Force exercises in 1928 - 1933. Accordingly, in the few weeks since the "Two Bishops' Victory" at Brimfield, a new Ludlow offensive force had been assembled under conditions of strictest secrecy at the Bishop's Industrial Park and Experimental Proving Grounds - the Ludlow Experimental Armoured Force (aka the supremely aggressive sounding "LEAF").. Regular listeners to the Bishop's Broadcasting Service will already be familiar with the Steve-Austin Somua (now in a re-engined Mark II version), the LEF's "Crusader" armoured trucks, and even the tiny and unarmed "Locust" armoured observation vehicle of the LEF's Mortar Support Platoon [2]. To this the Bishop had added a "Gnat", a small armoured vehicle carrying an AT rifle, together with two examples, as purchased from "Elstree Industries", of an entirely new class of weaponry - the fully tracked "Behemoth Destroyers".

A "Gnat" class Anti Tank Rifle Carrier of the Ludlow Experimental Armoured Force...
...followed by Ludlow Experimental Armoured Force Behemoth Destroyers, manufactured by Elstree Industries.
Whether it be pure chance - or the product of BUF cowardice - will be a matter for future historians. As the day of battle dawned bright and clear, it became apparent that Captain Arrowsmith and his famed behemoth were nowhere to be seen (it is suggested by "Government sources" that Captain Arrowsmith was 'conducting staff conversations with Mussolini", but the Ecclesiastical Intelligence Services know better). Facing the Ludlow Experimental Armoured Force was instead a motley collection of "Government" forces under the overall command of Storm Leader Giles, last seen at The Battle of Bredwardine Fords and recently seconded from the infamous BUF "Three Counties Legion" to the command of the grandiosely titled "Wyvern Defence Force" (aka "Wyrd Force").

The market power of the Ludlow groat ["campaign cash" rules were being used for the first time and the LDVs had to be "persuaded" to support a faction, such persuasion usually involving the distribution of "alms to the needy", as the Bishop persisted in calling it], obviously combined with the impressive appearance of the Ludlow Experimental Armoured Force, had brought two LDV platoons to the Anglican cause - the newly arrived (and rather scary) "Brichester LDV" (James) and the "Verity LDV" of Cousin Verity (Gavin), apparently a relation of the staunch Captain Verity, a notable Anglican commander at The Battle of Bredwardine Bridge. To the west, on the battlefield of Kington, Captain-Commissar Winter had recruited a single LDV, that of Comrade Gollumroo (the precise origin of this surname will be revealed in due course).

On the "other side of the hill", however, the logistical strain of seeking to hold back the tide of righteous anger against "the Government" right across the County of Herefordshire had finally become apparent : Storm Leader Giles had managed to recruit only two LDVs to support his "Wyrd Force" and cover both fields of battle - taking the central position himself, Giles positioned Captain Morgan and his Hereford LDV (Craig) to defend the lines at Kington, while Councillor Walter Cracknutt and his Wormelow Tump LDV (Alan) were deputed to defend the Brimfield/Berrington A49 area.

"Nom d'un chien!" Commandant Lasalle, as ever commanding the French supplied forces of Ludlow, could hardly contain his excitement, bouncing up and down on the box seat of the Command Car. "C'est cinq a trois. C'est un desastre pour les noirs!!" (the Commandant's most polite term for the black uniformed BUF). In a bloodthirsty gesture, he slowly drew a finger over his throat. "C'est fini, mon cher!!"

"Now, now, my dear Commandant" the Bishop sighed."Let us not be too hasty. There is much work to be done. It is all in God's hands."

As if to confirm the Bishop's caution, a pile of intercepts and messages arrived from the Ludlow W/T van. The previous intelligence from the EIS was confirmed : Sir Alan McGuffin, the disgruntled Chairman of the Herefordshire Golf Club, had produced a behemoth of his own to line up with the forces of Captain Morgan on the fields of Kington, while Councillor Cracknutt had acquired a "little Italian tank" to stiffen the A49 Berrington defences. News that Comrade Gollumroo had added an armoured car to his own forces did little to dispel the new air of caution at Anglican HQ [the new "campaign cash" rules had allowed a small pre-game."auction of additional forces" to be held, while Sir Alan McGuffin and his behemoth were a "Special Umpire Bonus to Craig for getting his Platoon Roster in first - and in good order]


Sir Alan McGuffin and his Behemoth. The Club Committee are reading the instruction manuals while
Sir Alan's chauffeur, McCavity, is already revving the engine. Sir Alan's butler, Macaddie, has been
press-ganged into acting as "loader" notwithstanding his polite objections to "manual work".
It definitely pays to get your Platoon Roster in early!
The brave commander of Ludlow's lead Somua stood tall in his turret, waving a gloved hand forward.

"Come on, chaps!" he shouted. "Onward to Leominster! For the County, the Constitution, and the Archbishop of Canterbury!".

The Ludlow Experimental Armoured Force clanked southward down the A49, flanked by a slow moving Brichester LDV on the left [James had the misfortune to have drawn the "Doctor Alzheimer" sealed character envelope, and his forces were somewhat hampered by being both very elderly and very forgetful], and an equally slow moving Verity LDV on the right (open countryside unsuitable for Cousin Verity's lorries and armoured car).

Thus, secure in numerical and technological advantage, the brave Anglican advance from Brimfield began....

The Somua leads off the Ludlow forces from their A49 start line. Behind follow the
Command Car and three Crusader armoured trucks. In the field to the right are the
Gnat AT Rifle and the Ludlow mortar, while further right flank the Behemoth Destroyers
in support of Cousin Verity's forces.
At the other end of the B49, Storm Leader's Wyrd Force faced off against the Bishop. The crew of the solitary
 armoured car are already quaking at the appearance of the Somua; the Storm Leader places his faith in an
 Anti Tank Gun and MMG covering the road. A party of sailors hug the hedgeline, while,  to the left, the
 Armed Schoolgirls of the Wormelow Tump LDV prepare to advance. Councillor Cracknutt is reputedly "most
fond" of every member of his section of schoolgirls. 
The Brichester LDV deploy in the sideroad to the front of the Brimfield Cricket Club and the left of the Bishop's forces. 
Notes:
[1]. There was no Autumn Big Game 2016. The Spring Big Game 2017 was a "special County event" centred around the Hereford Golf Cup Challenge. This despatch therefore takes place shortly after the "Two Bishops' Battle" at Brimfield
[2], Regularly misidentified by - an obvious misnomer - "Government Intelligence" as "a tank". It was an unintentional benefit of the Ludlow Experimental Armoured Force's debut that "Government Intelligence" mis-identified everything that was tracked as "a tank" : an early example, switching time and reality lines, of the well recorded "Tiger-mania" of Normandy 1944.

Monday 13 November 2017

Hereford1938AVBCW Spring Big Game 2017

News is percolating through to Ludlow of the recent tragic events at Hereford Golf Club. Thankfully, the Bishop does not play golf [1], nor does any decent-thinking clergyman.

The verdict of the Convocation of Ludlow (Ludlow's Upper House):
"We do not play golf."
For those of you (such as the Pretender Edward VIII) who enjoy such frivolous pursuits, an extended broadcast of the events of the day can be found from HERE to HERE.

[1] The 1/1 scale Bishop was umpiring on the Big Day....